parentinglife

The other day i talked about my manang (big sister) tonight its all about my MAMA. My mother got married at a very very young age. She was still 15 years old when they had her civil wedding and she was already 3 months pregnant with my sister. She had me when she was 17  and never had a child again after. Not that it was by choice but she could not no longer carry a baby full term due to complications that i will not mention.

My Mama is the greatest, most patient, most loving and caring person in the world. She has a big heart like my sister and she is well loved by her friends and our neighbors. When i was young i clashed with my mama so much that i hated her and i acted out. I felt like she loved my sister more than me and i would leave notes telling her this. As i got older we would have arguments, i would talk back and didn’t listen to any of her advice. Have you ever heard the song “MAMA”  by the spice girls? The song goes something like this :

She used to be my only enemy and never let me be free,
Catching me in places that I knew I shouldn’t be,
Every other day I crossed the line,
I didn’t mean to be so bad,
I never thought you would
Become the friend I never had.

Back then I didn’t know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All that you did was love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
You’re my friend

I didn’t want to hear it then but
I’m not ashamed to say it now,
Every little thing you said and did was right for me,
I had a lot of time to think about,
About the way I used to be,
Never had a sense of my responsibility.

Back then I didn’t know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All that you did was love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
You’re my friend ,You’re my friend

But now I’m sure I know why,
Why you were misunderstood,
So now I see through your eyes,
All I can give you is love,

Mama I love you, Mama I care,
Mama I love you, Mama my friend,
[Repeat X2]
You’re my friend
Your’re my friend

The song speaks for itself. I’m a mother now and i see now what my mother saw. I miss her so much, that i just want to close my eyes and just be able to breathe her in and feel her soft caress on my cheek. My mother raised me and my sister the best way. We did come from a broken family but that never served as an excuse for me and my sister to go on the wrong path like doing drugs, alcohol, sex and other stupid stuff. I feel bad for those times that we fought, exchange words and didn’t talk for days. My mom is very unique, she is a liberate woman of the world but conservative. Its hard to explain but she talks openly about things but she never encourages you to do it but steers you to the other direction. She is very very good in reverse psychology and guilt trip when it comes to other stuff that might lead us to the so called “bad things”. Always the shoulder to cry on, the listener, the giver, the peace maker. I love her so much and i regret that its going to take a while for my daughter to see her, kiss her and hug her. One day MA, we will be in each others arms again and i will never forget to tell you i love you and how much I appreciate you!